lay some treats

Merry Christmas. 

I’m under the gun right now for meeting deadlines for work. I knew I’d have to stay up real late last night finishing projects, so I took an energy drink. All day today I’ve had flu-like symptoms. I seriously thought that I had come down with the Flu until I realized that the energy drink was actually reacting with other things that I had ingested in a span of like 12 hours. So basically, here’s how to poison yourself: 

First, don’t eat or drink much during the day. Then in the evening, take at least 600mg of Ibuprofen, still with not much in your stomach. Go to the store and buy one of the tall cans of some energy drink. At about 11pm, get to work and start drinking that stuff down. 

At about 3am, go to sleep. Sleep for no more than 5 hours. Here’s the kicker: when you wake up, take a Zyrtec, one Zinc vitamin pill, and two kids multivitamins. Drink a glass of water and then go sit at your computer. That should do it. 

In about twenty minutes, you should have the flu. Say goodbye to the majority of your day. Basically, what you’ve done is taken too much Vitamin-B and Ginkgo Biloba, mixed it with the wrong combination of over the counter drugs, then added a hefty amount of vitamins to the mix just to make things worse for your digestive system. Now you know.